What next?

Or, trying out new things in January to overcome the fear of failure.

Jan 31, 2024

Hi friends! Wow, it’s been a long time without reading each other. I mean sure, we’ve probably been in contact through Instagram or Twitter, but this is different. I missed being able to connect with you in my writing.

So! This summer has been a whirlwind of events. I feel like I’ve lived a THOUSAND lives and somehow it’s STILL January. I’ve laughed a lot, cried a lot, felt alone, felt accompanied, felt mature, felt immature.

And between all that chaos, I think I found something important: an incredible sense of purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a set of goals in the past, but they weren’t as organized as they are now. I’m expanding the limits of what I had in mind for my artistic journey. Last year, I focused on finishing my mentorships and finding an agent and I made it! And I was super proud! But when that ended, I was left wondering: What next?

Now What? | Finding Nemo | Know Your Meme

I still wasn’t exactly where I wanted. So I gathered all the intel (went to my therapist!) and I came up with a plan. Of sorts. And analyzed where I had been limiting myself without knowing it.

For example, I was really adamant about not wanting to make reels. And of course, it was valid for some time. I thought it would be a waste when I could be I don’t know, painting or planning illustrations. I said: “I don’t like filming my process”. “I don’t see the point”. “It’s not for me”. And a long list of etceteras. But the truth is, I wasn’t spending that time painting, I was probably scrolling and feeling kinda anxious about not doing anything. And I was scared. It’s kinda silly, I know. Why would I be scared of such a thing? And I think that sometimes I need to know in advance if there’s going to be a reward for me to embark in any activity. I still have trouble planning things for the long haul.

But I reassessed what I wanted to do with my art and realized I had left a lot of things behind because I was scared. Things that were important to me, such as reactivating my shop, or starting my own art business. I tried really hard to leave my fears behind and move in the direction that I wanted. And this is what happened:

- I started posting more consistently without having to make lots of artworks, just had the confidence to share my process and some sketchbook stuff .

- Went drawing with my friends to the park, something I wouldn’t have been able to do before. I just painted without expectations of my work looking perfect and tried to focus on enjoying the good company.